Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Friday Mayhem

We went to see Gorilla Zoe! Haha lots of fun :) Matt was playing beer pong and had a random partner. This partner was a rival schools fan and he kept trading hats with him. This partner got into a brawl with the frat brothers and got kicked out. Matt realized he wore the guys hat and felt he needed to pay for wearing it. He then proceeded to burn himself with a cigarette and it's infected now. Later he had a beer on campus and had to run from the cops. He of course fell and almost got arrested but at least he is safe now.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Morning After

So I got woken up at 2 that might to the sound of a safe hitting the floor. Matt had thrown his safe across the room to put Rolin's broken cigarettes in it. He then proceeded to Skype a random girl and tell her that they were going to have sex the next day. This girl lives a few states away. Then he told me he had to sober Rolin up so he threw bread at Rolin and I went to go c if he was ok and he was just being a loud drunk and Matt walked in and said "Rolin it's time for sleepy sleep no bread nooo no bread Rolin time to sleep" then I went to bed. The morning after I went I was talking to Eddie and Rolin about the night. Rolin didn't remember much but everyone else knew what happened. Rolin had puked all over their floor and his roommate had gotten really mad and broke his lamp, in retaliation Rolin pissed all over his stuff including everything he needed for ROTC and school. His roommate then proceeded to threaten to kill him and Rolin freaked out and called his lawyer and the RA and his roommate moved out later that day. His roommates dad came to help move all of his stuff out and saw Rolin and confronted him about peeing on his sons stuff and saying that he was over reacting with the threat of a restraining order.

Whiskey Wednesday

Wednesday might Matt told me he would be home at 1030-1100 and that he wasn't going to get to messed up... Well that was a lie. Him and Eddie played beer pong and won like 10 straight games. Now for the introduction of Rolin. Rolin is really quiet, calm and nice. He got a bid to a frat and was really excited so he drank a ton of liquor. As Matt and Eddie started winning a lot he started becoming a cheerleader. Everytime they hit a cup he would scream and hug the person who scored. Eddie shot the winning shot of their last game and Rolin tackled him cause he was so happy. Now for the hard part getting everyone home safely. They had to carry Rolin to the drunk bus and once they got on he tried to make out with a girl and then proceeded to cuddle up next to eddie telling him he loved him. Once they got to the dorm they had to carry him to his room. Needless to say he wasn't very quiet they threw him in his bed and hoped for the best.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I don't know where to start

So much happened last night I don't know where to begin so I'll put it in 2 or 3 stories later. This morning was very interesting too.  Let me get my head on and I'll start writing in a little.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Sober Up

Last night was a sober night! It was still ridiculous we were chilling in our room when this guy from down the hall slammed open the door and walked in and started talking trash and we could tell he was really drunk. We asked where he went and he asked where we went and we said no where and he said then I wasn't where you were! After he left we walked to Denny's. On the way there we played a game in which you throw the keys up and if you dropped the keys then you lost. Matt was the last person to drop the key on his last throw for the win he threw it really high and had to chase after them they came down and his hands were right there ready to catch them but they went right through his hands. He heard a clank and looked down and yelled out in agony and got on his knees to find them. They had gone down a street drain, the only one with in visible range. He was so sad cause he has to give the college 100 bucks to get a new one. Stories are going to become a little more scarce now cause actual school work is starting but I promise I'll keep up the hilarious stories of dorn h

Saturday, August 18, 2012


Last night we went to a foam party! I walked out to take a call and I walked back in and found Matt dancing on top of the stage near the DJ. I left a little after that but this morning after my shower I found out that they ended up hanging out with a big group of black guys and ended up drunk at Waffle House.  When I got to our dorm I realized Matt had left his key in our room so I thought it would be fun to lock him out for the night.  So I woke up this morning and I found Matt asleep in his bed... He had crawled through our window to get into the room.  He was drunk and he doesn't have any climbing skills and he doesn't remember much other than cutting himself on the window.  Today we are finishing construction on our slide out the window so no more pesky stairs on the way out of our dorm!  Last nights foam party was one to remember, there were more drunk people there than I have seen our entire time in college.   This one girl was dancing and fell into the foam and disappeared, an hour later I saw her in a different area of the party how she got there under the foam I still don't know... Not much that I remember from last night but it was crazy

Friday, August 17, 2012

Little Extra Message!

If you guys see this can you share this blog with all your friends! I really want to get these stories out there! :)

Do Classes Really Start That Early?

Last night we went out.  He went back to the frat that he joined and was there until 3 AM for a beer pong tourney.  He didn't do very well in it so I decided I would mess with him a little.  I locked the door so it would be hard to open.  He tried a few times but couldn't figure out how to open it so Eddie had to open the door for him.  He went to bed at 330ish and woke up at 7 because he thought he had a class at 8... Who goes out when they have an 8 AM class the next day... It turns out that got cancelled and he was still drunk when he went to his second class of the day and he passed out there thankfully he has sobered up and he just made a brilliant discovery!!! If you put a flashlight under a jug of water it makes a lamp... I think I was in Kindergarden when I figured that one out...

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Different State Really?!?!?

I just sat in our dorm waiting for an hour for Matt to get back with sheets to make the slide put of our window... He just texted me he is in the state over from where we live... The place he got the sheets is 5 minutes from here the border is at least a half hour away...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Boring Night

Tonight was the first night that I don't have a story from him which is kind of sad but our room is pretty trashed cause of his latest escapades so I better clean up and get ready for a few more stories

Forgotten Story

He poured a huge cup of apple juice on his bug bite cause he thought it would help... this is after his huge mess up with the frat of course

House Party

So last night we mixed it up and went to a house party which was really awkward at first but it got better as it got later.  Our ride home left before we did so we had to walk back to campus thankfully we called a taxi and got brought back to the dorm once we got back Matt started taking his clothes off before we got in the dorm and he actually made ramen then he spilled it all over the floor and its all messy now.  When I woke up and took a shower (yes I know I find out all the weird stuff out after my showers) our suite mate came over and told me how he got arrested last night and spent the night in jail and how he hadn’t slept all night. 

Extra Stuff...

All of Matt’s shit came in from Germany today so we had to find places for it through out our dorm room.  We gave away 2 clocks and set up a kitchen on a vent which is against our dorm rules but when our RA came by he didn’t care at all he was mad we opened up the hallway with chairs... We then threw all the cardboard out the window just to have our gay RA get mad at us for throwing cardboard out the window.


Matt has to quit the frat or he can’t go to school here anymore.

Oh No!

Matt Just Couldn't Resist

Matt went partying without me last night and he went to a frat house that we had gone to earlier in the week.  His dad had told him that the only thing he wasn’t allowed to do was join a frat.  I got woken up at 3 this morning by a few guys who had gone partying with him to make sure he hadn’t gotten alcohol poisoning.  His sister then came up to our room and and dragged him outside.  The next morning I woke up and he looked over at me and said “I fucked up real bad” I asked what he did and he told me that he was partying and the frat had given him a bid and he accepted the bid and they poured beer all over him and it felt great.  He then called his sister and she told their dad.  All of Matt’s stuff came in from Germany today and his dad dropped it all off and Matt was dragged to his dads hotel.

Wake up time... Morning after #1

When we came back to our room last night Matt tried to make mac and cheese but we didn’t have any pots so he pulled out a bag of ramen and started eating it raw.  I fell asleep and the next morning after I got out of the shower I walked into our room and he asked why he was naked.  Matt swears he went to bed with clothes on.  He had taken all of his clothes off and eaten half a thing of ramen before he fell asleep.

1st Night of School!

So we were out partying last night and Matt wanted to go over to a different party which was really close the only thing that separated us from the party was a few bushes (no big deal right?) Well Matt decided to run through it so he started to take off and I blinked and he had disappeared.  I looked into the bush and he had fallen into a ditch inside the bush and the bush was full of thorns so I had to pull his drunken ass out of it and we got to the other party and they were burning a couch

Beginnings: Background Knowledge

Matt is my roommate we are freshmen in college and we met for the first time ever on move in day.  Right off the bat I knew he was going to make this interesting.  We got moved in and he told me he had partied every night he had been in the states so 3-4 days straight.  Our room is pretty standard but we have everything in it.  Matt brought everything even the stuff that is against the rules like grills and stuff.  He is a pretty interesting guy, he likes to party and play sports and cook and lots of girls.  We go to a pretty regular college and our dorm is far from everything which is really annoying.  We have connections to enough people that we can go to a party most nights so this should be an interesting story.

I decided I would log our adventures and maybe turn it into a book later on!